So recently things have been hard. I was starting to be happy, even though it felt fake at times, but then a lot of things happened. One of my friends pointed out my lack of interest in my friends lately, how I seemed to be floating through things. That hit home. Then my ballet teacher died. Not unexpectedly, but still, it is always shocking when these things happen. And then I had some realizations about a lot of my relationships here. Just lately I have felt incredibly unsure of some of my friends and feel like I am in an abusive relationships that I didn't notice just because I was used to them. I still love my closest friends, but I feel constantly stressed about this situation.

I miss you all so much, and the truly amazing environment we lived in. I miss being myself all the time, and want to try to apply that here. I think I came back too idealistic and ready for everyone to amaze me, and then I was disappointed. So for now, all I can do is be true to myself, or at least try.

I miss you all.