Friday, March 5, 2010. I had a dream last night where I kept receiving college acceptance letters addressed to all of you, and so I got to call everyone and deliver the great news. It was pretty cool. This is another brief period where I didn't write for a while; these usually happen on weekends.

Day 35 (written day 38)
I am so, so sorry... I do not remember breakfast. Toast and eggs? No. Most likely oats, or some variant. Classes were fine. In Science Hike I walked about half an hour to my site and noted the nature around it: Ash in the center, hemlock and beech around it. Young spruce and fir are growing up. Rachel and I are getting closer. We're friends now. Lunch? What was that? Leftovers.

In English Megan K, Charlotte, Rachel and I had a good discussion about roles people might have in discussions. I tried to mimic a role as we were discussing it. The group didn't get it. Journals were fantastic, as always. During dinner (chicken? Leftover meatballs?) we had an intense discussion about the space-time continuum, and what choices today might have on the possibilities of tomorrow. Rachel also confessed she likes Devo, or at least has heard of them. Jay, Hallie, Adrija, and some others (unsure about Adrija; I know for sure Jay was there) also discussed evolution in the modern world, and if it was bred out almost. The [Friday night] discussion was about homosexuality... pretty boring. Whatever; we're all the same.

procrastinatin'













Happy thanksgiving all <3

Yep, it's this day. Definitely a day to be thankful for. March 4, 2010: Find-Your-Way-Back-To-Campus, Plate Tectonics, Pot Roast, and Library Craziness.

Day 34

Hallie's first day on cook's crew went well. Breakfast was toast and eggs. Meh. In Spanish... we spoke Spanish. I sat next to David and Rachel, for something interesting to put here. Pat talked about plate tectonics in New England in E. Sci. That was alright. I got a pancake with honey in the break. I didn't really do much in History. I sat next to Sam S and Phoebe. In English I became annoyed with Lex's voice, but another one of my frontier words was picked, so that's a plus. For lunch there was all manner of leftovers: I had lasagna and the too-rich sweet-and-sour meatballs. I had two whoopie pies for dessert too! We composted all of it, though people kept coming into the kitchen for whoopie pies.

I dashed to Miles to throw on some snow pants for Outdoor Program, and David, Rafi and I loaded into Alden's car, which took us first to a small area where I found our location on the map, and then to a second, further spot on the other side of Hemenway Tract. We strapped on our snowshoes (mine were from two different pairs) and headed up the hill, wondering about the history of the land. It used to be a farm, good for grazing, until the farmer couldn't keep up the costs. As we reached the summit of the hill, we headed left (northwest-ish) down to Back Brook, where we would then take back to the Sugarhouse and campus. Heading down, Rafi got stuck in some thorns. It was very funny.

When we reached Back Brook, it was at a spot where there were two small holes in the ice, one about the size of a dinner plate, the other the size of a small fold-up table. We lay there, taking a half-hour 5-minute nap. We took pictures, we ate Powerbars, we threw snowballs into the Brook. We marched upstream, eventually finding ourselves and Shizue, Charlotte, and Katja. We walked with them for a bit (they had to find Orienteering points, we didn't), tried to break Back Brook by jumping (and succeeding at times), and pelting Charlotte with snowballs when their group left. My feet were wet. We kept finding new holes in the Brook; they're reaching a respectable size. We found the sugarbush; I drank some sap that tasted like sugar water; we admired a tractor left in Siberia; we walked back with Sarah and Rachel.

During my free I read most of the English story and tried (and failed) to go on the slow internet. Derby minus Aidan was in the library. In Precalc I was sitting with David, Rebecca, and Rachel. It was a sick table. We were progressive in math and History, discussing Rachel's essay topic, and doing some homework. I had one problem on a mini-quiz that I thought had me draw a massive tree diagram for three rolls of an eight-sided die, but instead just for the rolls that were a seven or not a seven. It was a great class; I'm really getting probability.

Dinner was potatoes and pot roast. I approve and I enjoyed. We took the dishes away too quickly- Sam P and Matt came up asking for more potatoes. Hallie did a good job on her first day; it should be a good week. We did math homework after dinner; she was not as ambitious with problems as she was with fitting lots of food into small jars. I did the rest of my homework, or at least and English reading and a Spanish composition, before messing around with a third of the kids, taking pictures sitting on the balcony, doing the Scrubs EAGLE!@!! and having a good time.

I returned with David to Miles, he scared me on the walk back, not in the common room (he was waiting for me to enter; I threw my laptop on the couch and he knew I knew I was there so he left), did a quick E. Sci. reading, tried getting him by hiding under the table (the turned-off lights clued him in), talked with Dad about bus times and Mom and Grace about Blair, wrote this and talked with Miles before bed. I keep wanting to read more Spivet, but there's not enough time. These take so long.

thanks.

can't imagine my life without you all. today, i thought a lot about many different things to be thankful for, but throughout the day, the one thing that stuck with me was thank god i went to the mountain school, and thank god and every other single deity in existence that you all went there with me. that's what i give the most thanks for, any day of the year. i love you so much, i miss you so much, and i can't wait until new years.

I had a dream last night in which our entire semester decided to act in our own version of The Lion King. I don't remember much of it outside of the fact that Claire was hysterical as Scar... and the entire thing was very comical.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Ahh, what a day. I think I'll write some college essays, don't you think? In the meantime, here's Wednesday, March 3rd, a day full of wacky dreams, wood crews, Ramen salad, random acts of kindness, and Bible salesmen. Coincidentally, there's an English class at my school reading that very story. One girl I spoke to about it found it hilarious when he stole her leg. Huh. Anyway, off to correct essays! It's what Wednesdays are for!

Day 33

Breakfast was pancakes today! There were no apples in the walk-in fridge, so I brought up just oranges and grapefruit. During school meeting people talked way too much about where our fruit comes from. Jake woke me up early at 6 unintentionally. I then had a dream where me, Sam P, and Yomalis were in an obstacle course that ended in a 100, no, 200, no, now it's growing to 500 and beyond meter race. I was about to win but then Sam made a comeback, so I turned around and we're in a waterpark! And now Danny [Lamere, a kid from my school] and some other cross-country people are there! And maybe we're climbing on ropes in the waterpark, and maybe we're in a tavern-ish thing.

Back to the day: I cut down 5 trees for wood crew; 4 got processed. I cut down the 5th just as time ran out. My first was a warm-up, the second was bigger to combat Phoebe's choice, and the third was a massive maple. It didn't take that long to carve the hinge out, but once I made the back-cut it got tricky. It was stuck up in the canopy, so Jack came over and helped. I chopped away at the hinge to get it down to a point (with Jack's assistance on my stroke), and then took a makeshift club (Jack sawed off a branch of some brush) and whacked the trunk off the stump. We couldn't move it after that, as much we tried, so we flagged it. Someone will get it with a chainsaw later. My fourth tree was a joke- a tiny one with hardly any sugarwood. I also helped Phoebe carry one of her trees to a new processing station. I wasn't wearing snowpants, so my feet got very wet. Not cold yet.

Once I got back to the day-pack room, I wrung out my socks to find a lovely mixture of snow and sweat and smelled lovely. I like the smell of sweat, the smell of a locker room. It means good work was done. Lunch was amazing: quesadillas and fudgy oat bars. Charlotte doesn't know how to spell quesadillas. Also, there was a Ramen salad that apparently only I liked. Everyone else who talked about it (3 people) said they didn't like it. In my free I did the History reading, which was actually tonight's work (I'm pretty sure). I'll get these notes from David- I still did the pink book readings. History was long- I took good notes, but I was drowsy. So was Sam S and Sam P- they mentioned it later. Matt actually put his head down.

Earlier, before lunch, my feet were so cold and bare, but Freddy out of nowhere offered some sandals. I wore them until the end of the day. That was really nice. In English we discussed “Everything That Rises Must Converge”, Lex, Charlotte and I. I liked it, and to top off class, Lex picked my frontier word: impetus. In my advisor meeting with Susie I had a strawberry-flavored white Lifesaver, that I bit but apparently one sucks them first. She always is sort of down during the meetings, which is odd since she's always on otherwise. We discussed getting to and from Milton. During my free I did no work, because I was talking with Arya on skype. She unloaded some problems on me (what else is new), and I told her about the drama up here.

At around 5, 5:15, Hallie and I went to the dining hall (I went there earlier to read the English story, but it was too long and the room was too loud. There was popcorn though.) to see who was there. I gave her a brief overview of cook's crew, during which she seemed... bored is not the right word. Uninterested? She wasn't like she was yesterday, or at least earlier, when she found out. She, Rafi, Phoebe, Aidan, Jake and I all chilled with Pam until dinner was ready. I wrote the sign: salad, petite peas, lasagna, bread italiano. It took me a while to find the petite peas in the walk-in freezer; I was cold in my sandals and I imitated raocow.

After dinner I... went to the library for a bit, then went back to Miles and listened to Wolfmother. I got my boots beforehand. I read the English story, tried to ignore Jake and Taylor being loud with Sam P (I'm differentiating now between the two) in the common room. It was a weird story: a fake Bible salesman takes wooden legs, glass eyes, from women. I played guitar in check-in, Isaac recognized Passage to Bangkok, Comfort had a nice conversation with us, Rafi and Sam S had us write a question for the girls (Jimmy was asking too), and then I wrote in my other journal before bed. Fun day.

Today I remembered that I had herds of long underwear left over from last winter that I could wear if it got too cold up here, which made my morning. This day, about 1/3 of the way complete, had a bunch of personal nonsense at the end, regarding classes at Milton that I cut, but also the first and last weekly card night after dinner! I remember Lex and I kept planning another one, but it... never happened. Or, maybe, it did happen and I just missed it. Waagh! No! That can't be true! Just in case! I'll play 2 hours of solitaire... starting now!

Day 32

Hey! These March days line up perfectly: day 32 is 3/2! sweet! This'll be a fun week. Breakfast today was blueberry muffins and oatmeal. Cook's crew is now a routine, not a chore. In my free (it seems so long ago) I... worked a bit on my E. Sci. chapter, did a bit of internet. In English we discussed how words bring up images. I sat with Taylor and Charlotte, and when the word 'meadow' was introduced, I said 'Bruno' to get points with Taylor. Jack didn't like the essays as much this week- his speech before giving them back was very depressing. I got an 85, but that's to be expected. I was anticipating somewhere in the low 70s, so this is actually better than what I thought was going to happen.

Farm seminar had us discussing an article by Michael Pollan about food. I was not that interested. In E. Sci. I finished the final edits on my chapter, and printed it out, only to find some final formatting edits put the images too high, so there was one line of text below them that was supposed to be on top. I didn't want to reprint, so I turned it in and am now hoping for the best. I'll explain that to Pat later. I had really good cheesy bread for lunch, and a baked potato with sour cream and cheese. I ate around three more bread pieces during cook's crew. I had a free in Work/Activities, so to the library and the internet I went.

Bruce came in a few minutes in telling me I should've told him where I was. I did not know, but now I will. The internet was being slow, so I did the regular routine of closing windows and changing networks. Grace informed me Blair got expelled, which was old news to me. I read the English story and set out the History reading, but that'll wait until my free tomorrow. There was a relatively surprise quiz in Precalc. I got all but one right, I'm pretty sure. I feel fairly confident with combinations. I was sitting with Lex and Maddy during the quiz. The next chapter we're doing is actual probability, so that'll be fun to do. I only remember doing 'pulling marbles out of a bag' problems in seventh grade, so I enter with a fairly open mind.

In Spanish we did a lot of vocal activities, and I could actually speak! Dinner was mashed potatoes and breaded chicken: succulent with gravy. The bread was not right for the meal... I couldn't eat too big of a bite before I felt like it was too much. Sarah and I fed the cows again. We talked a bit more about relationships. I'd like to keep talking with her; she's an Arya-like vent here, but one that doesn't foist problems on me.

Oh, I am going to take the bus down to see the Dance Concert on Saturday. Arya and Jasmine should like that. Kathie? Is she in that? I dunno. I did some probability problems with Hallie, Sam, and Caitlin after dinner, but Hallie was distant. Is she trying to yield to Charlotte? Could I use Sarah to figure that out? After doing Math I played some cards with Lex, Sam, Nora, Steph, Isaac, Caitlin, Phoebe, and Jay. Hearts was alright; I didn't lose. Egyptian Ratscrew was annoying; Caitlin is too good. I do not care for that game. President or Mao is more fun. Actually, just dealing out poker hands is the most fun for me. Seeing all the different combinations and reveals is enjoyable. Lex had us play a weird 'Jumanji' game that had the player who played a face card make an animal sound, and then the next time that face card was played, that player would mimic that sound. It was fun in terms of 'haha, this is kinda lame'.

Our next (and final) game was BS, which I came in second in, and during which we were all being too loud. Charlotte came in and there was a big pile involving her and some other people at the end... I don't know. Oh, we also played Tongues, which is like Pig. In the hall, she was telling everyone what animal they looked like. Why is she so odd? Sam and I met Jake on the way back and got Sam's laundry before heading up. He put my Grimey's shirt in with his shirts, so I was confused. Isaac's mom made donuts for dipping in maple syrup for check-in, and those were very good. A little too reliant on the syrup for sweetening, but maybe they're better fresh. Our topic for discussion was the Miles-Derby rivalry. My parents called in the middle, so I talked with them about taking a bus down and back over the weekend.

Tomorrow is going to be sweet: two classes, lots of free time to do work and play. That'd be nice. In Spanish class I was fidgeting with my USB drive, popping the top on and off, and it fell multiple times (twice). Dan took it away. I'll write my family a song.

Another fairly uneventful Monday. Some highs, some lows, but overall the silly mountain life continues. I just got back from a showing of that new Harry Potter movie, and I am glad to say that there's a bit in the middle (to kindly avoid spoilers: it involves a story) that left me wanting more of it. An overall enjoyable experience. Oh and Tobold: OMELET NIGHT! teehee.

Day 31

Breakfast was brunch leftovers... sausages, eggs, pancakes, the works. History was a decent class. I didn't participate much, but it was mostly Kit talking, moreso than a regular class. I did zone out once. During the free I did some Precalc work that wasn't hard so much as tedious. I found out Blair got expelled for smoking on the hockey bus. That was a 'finally' experience. In Precalc Lex and I teamed up for yet another all-class quiz that we aced. After that I complied with Sarah and Sam's requests and finished my awful English essay. 517 words, including quiescent [A frontier word]. That's the only redeeming quality.

After I finished that Jay and I did the Pokemon quiz on Sporcle. We did alright, ~100/151. We couldn't spell exeggcute and exeggutor and forgot the fossil Pokemon. I stumbled some, freaked out with Rachel, Anika and Caitlin over Blair. Ben Torren got expelled too; I don't know him at all. Lunch was more leftovers- I took a reasonable portion of BBQ chicken. We really didn't do much in Energy Time with Nick; instead, we played with tape measures and Nick taught me the Queen's Gambit in chess. I played a game with Taylor, my first in I don't know how many years, and I lost, predictably. I really didn't care- I was more focused on tying knots in the tape measures and poking people in the library.

In Spanish we discussed El Sur some more, which involved a powerpoint. In E. Sci. I worked on my chapter a bit: compiling mostly. Dinner was rice and sweet-and-sour meatballs in an overly rich sauce. Sarah and I went to feed the cows halfway through; we had a nice talk about Charlotte, Hallie, and girls in general that I hope to continue. All my cook's crews were fun, especially the dinner one. I was that special type of crazy where I get work done (my hands have a lot of small gashes on them. They hurt.) and at the same time yell and stuff.

Before heading back I played a game of President with Jay, Caitlin, Steph and Nora and got VP. Becky took Nora's spot and complained about our rules, then tried to foist some lame 'poker hand' rule on that would make the game over too quickly. If a game ends in three turns, that's a feat to be in awe of, and that would happen far too often with the poker hand rule. Jay agreed with me. I went back to Miles, wrote my chapter, supplemented with some of Lex's diagrams. It was hard to get a good starting point, so I just wrote out a lot of words that I had as note form before. I'll edit tomorrow.

Tonight was omelet night at Dan's house: to prepare, I cut peppers and got some of the onion smell from Rafi. My omelet was more scrambled eggs with peppers, mushrooms and cheese. It was still quite tasty- the addition of salsa on top made it much better. While waiting I played darts. I was fairly good. After that, I returned to the dorm and was playing guitar when Comfort told me off. David and I did some Precalc corrections and we all talked about the supposed Miles-Derby rivalry. Well, tomorrow is looking to be busy but fun- I'll talk to Mrs. Gerrity about taking two English courses and not taking Spanish. I'd still make myself read National Geographic.

Short day here. I've started rereading The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet. I can convince myself the book and its pages smell like Miles.

Day 30

Today I slept in a lot, finished chapter 2 of the Spivet book (oh also I got a cool T-shirt after the writer's workshop), and then went to brunch. Pancakes, scones, eggs, sausages, and home fries. I tried to do some work, but didn't succeed until 2, no, 2:30, no, 3, no 4, no, 4:30. I got distracted by the internet, Hallie and Phoebe talking about New York (with hints of a sping break bash) (Claire and Chelsea were present as well), and Mortimer Beckett and the Time Paradox, a clicky-click game I found on my computer. And also Peggle. I read a little bit about FDR before dinner (Pizza galore!), which was very good, save for the powdery cheese on one pizza, pepperoni, that ruins the texture of the bite. While on the internet I listened to Colour and the Shape. There was CRAZY GOOD applesauce cake for dinner.

Upon returning to Miles (I try to vary up how I write here. Is it working?) I finished the History reading and played Peggle, before joining Rosii and Sarah in the common room with Sam, Patrick, David, and Taylor. They were doing physics, I tried to do English. After they left I got to my third paragraph, then decided to leave it until tomorrow. There were laughs in that period of time. I played a bit more Mortimer before giving Sam free rein of Peggle during check-in. Kit made us clean up, and after watching our commercial said it had potential. Tomorrow should be busy. Today I got the following tabs: Get Back, Come Together, and Less Talk More Rokk. I played them all, and even Don't Think Twice It's Alright. AND NOW I AM CAUGHT UP ON MY JOURNAL.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY AWESOME SATURDAY NIGHT!! It was Homecoming at my school (I didn't go--too busy watching Scott Pilgrim and Jackass 3-D and eating calzones with other friends), and a friend (a friend who I had asked out over the summer. She said yes, but after told me she thought of me as just a friend.) had invited me over to her house for a gathering of a few friends. I accepted, not wanting to be antisocial. When I got there, the only people who could make it were her, her new boyfriend, another girl, her boyfriend, and me. Well, shit. It was fine at first--we just talked about stuff, general laughing. I then learned that this was going to be a sleepover, something I had not anticipated. Whatever, I thought. I sleep in t-shirt and boxers anyway. It'll be fine. The party then progressed to the living room, wherein minor card games were played, and eventually the idea of watching WALL*E came up. When that happened, the couples were on the couch and I was on a chair. They said it would be fine if I sat on the couch. Well, shit. I did. During the movie, things got hung up. I was hung up on the idea of robots having emotions, EVE's LED 'face' (Seriously? 800 years in the future and 'she' doesn't have LCDs at least?), and the odd framerate of the TV or the movie (it seemed to be in slight fast-forward, I don't know). The couples were hung up on each other's tongues. Well, shit. After the movie we watched 20 minutes of Legally Blonde on TV before deciding it was time to hit the hay. I wandered over to a half-deflated aero-mattress and got comfortable with a great pillow, then tried to fall asleep to the wet popping sounds of them constantly making out. Well, shit.

Anyway, in TMS news, today's the Coffeehouse! A day of fun performances for all. What memories.

Day 29 (written day 30)

this morning we had food for breakfast I do not know what it was. This morning I went to a writer's workshop with Reif, Shizue, Phoebe, Zoe, Nora, Megan, Matt, Jay, Freddy, other people, and Alden. We wrote about characters, how they put on hats, and described things we were not experts in like we were experts. I read mine aloud a lot so it would be improved, and it wasn't. Was I too open? Thoughts not right for now. After the workshop I think we ate. I also did some laundry in that time. I also wrote a little bit in my journal. I chose an article for Spanish. Kasey wrote on my wall giving me three poems to read that they were reading back home. It's odd: I call Miles home occasionally, but I also use the term back home.

Anyway, I really couldn't read the poems in Spanish, so I got translations for the one that wasn't already in English. One was about Walking Around by Pablo Neruda, who had lots of problems. He wants to kill various things. Another was Romance de la luna, luna, wherein the moon gets her dress blown open by the night wind and her boobs are open to the air and that was pretty awesome. There's also a small subtext in the next seven stanzas about her killing a gypsy boy in a forge, says Kasey. I thought it was just about them. I might be empeorando. The last poem, Kasey says, is about the wind raping a young girl. However that works. She and Jasmine cried at the last two. She also says that people aren't taking Spanish next year... I don't know; if there's a History elective that looks cool I'll take that. I don't really want to do the new Spanish 5 options.

Later Miles practiced our song with Mark. It turned out well. Dinner was more food; I can't be bothered to remember it now. The coffeehouse was fun in general; people liked Taylor and my rendition of Dear Prudence, and I had fun in Devil Went Down to Georgia playing a pseudo-bass line. Adrija played two more original songs, and there was an abundance of sad, or at least overly chill, acts. Derby had a funny skit and commercial for Night Vision Goggles. Miles' commercial, which we filmed before rehearsing with Mark, was for Urine Kleen. We thought it was funny; the crowd, less so.

Alden died during I'm In Vermont.

Yeah, that's all I'm writing today about that. So I guess that's all you'll ever know. Fine, I'll continue. There was good popcorn and cookies. People congratulated each other. Yomalis cried after reading a poem apologizing for losing her accent. Aidan and Megan K read poems. Rachel and Sarah sang a song, Claire messed up during Pachelbel's canon on harp, denoted with a quick “shit”. Megan K played a song on piano. Conard referenced my wolf pack during their song. Maddy, Taylor, and Hallie sang Hallelujiah and Hey Jude in harmonies. I think I took my laundry out sometime today. Also, Patrick and Jimmy killed Under the Bridge. Rafi and Taylor played a cool mandolin song by Eddie Vedder in Into the Wild, and Rafi and Sam played a nice violin song. It was fun overall. I'd do it again.

stars

When I got home Friday night I really had an urge to stargaze.
So I got bundled up. I put on some warm long underwear, my mountain school sweatshirt (heavyweight) a warm hat and brought out a fuzzy blanket.
I put my ipod on to Mumford and Sons and just listened and watched.
At first, I really felt like i wanted this time to be substantial. For me to think of something incredible or deep
but then i realized that this time shouldn't be about that.
At TMS when we looked at the stars, for example, we didn't necessarily think any deep riveting thoughts
instead, we were able to simply appreciated the beauty around us. (or at least I did)
And when I began to just gaze and appreciate, I felt my body begin to relax little by little.
Slowly, over the course of 20 min, the cold would seep in to another layer, making this time feel even more real.
I was at peace. I was just being. Like I wanted to be doing.
And then I saw a shooting star.
Magical.

Life's Choices

Very rarely in life will one event shape the rest of your life. Earlier this week a teacher at my school was caught with marijuana. He hasn't been fired yet, but its looking probable. The hypocrisy is that when a student is caught they get suspended for two days. When a beloved teacher is caught he will probably lose his job and never be able to teach again anywhere. So what you ask? Well he is the type of teacher who inspires students. He certainly inspires me.

I write this not to incite outrage with the system, or society, but because I want my good friends to remember that life is often frivolous; and sometimes life has a resolute finality to it. So you are on JV soccer instead of varsity will that change your life? Who the hell knows.

Ok I'm getting to that point where I'm not sure exactly what my point is and I'm rambling. Oh well. I'll cut myself off here with one addendum.

Notable Music in the past week:

Home at UVM on church street

Wagon Wheel on the radio

The Scientist Pandora

I have to say Megan, this one made me tear up - Thank you.

Day 28 (written day 30)

waaaagh for some reason I didn't do this this day. History? Quiz was hard. Sarah thought so too, as did Sam. Precalc? I think I'm getting it now. Didn't do the homework, but I have a free. I didn't do the test corrections either, but I might meet with her sometime. Spanish? We discussed stories, I think. Whatever boring things we're doing. Just cruising along. I made a lot of errors in my Best Day essay, including writing unos fotos, even though I knew it was unas. In E. Sci. we worked on our chapters... I think I have that almost all done; we'll see. I have like two hours of work time to polish it up.

Lunch? Gah, I can't even remember. Nor breakfast. I am so sorry. Breakfast was popovers. Lunch? Gah, I can't even remember. On Science Hike Pat told us to look at other sites to see what might have happened in ours. There was constant snowfall, and at one point the wind whipped up in a crazy mini-blizzard. It was cool. In my free I most likely surfed the web. In English Jack read my passages detailing Grace and my relationship. Reif Larsen read from his new story, which I liked. A very out-of-place swear at one point, but it was still fun to hear. Dinner? 1 for 3 today. It was... BBQ chicken? Lunch might've been, no, it was, leftovers. I went to the Saturday Night Planner's committee and had to leave due to cook's crew. If dinner was BBQ chicken, I had a leg or breast piece that I thought had more bone than it did. It had no bone, and I could not finish it. I did the same general cook's crew routine around every meal.

After dinner, before Reif's talk, I forgot about helping Hallie with math homework and instead played table football with Sam with salt. Reif's talk was cool; he talked about maps and the importance therein. He showed the government terrorist safety cards that were incredibly cryptic with humorous captions. My favorite: What shall I cook for my terrorist dinner party? Crowd favorite: In case of a nuclear explosion, parallel park onto the shoulder. You will be safe there. He signed my copy of his book after at the cheesecake dessert. Caitlin wants him to be our graduation speaker. Rachel agrees. Shizue and I raved. Back at the dorm we practiced our coffeehouse routine, Devil Went Down to Georgia. Then sleep. Also I put my laundry in sometime during the night.

once youve experienced something so real..

its easier tell when things are fake. when people are being fake.

Today is the first of a few series of days where I missed entries and have, as a result, slightly shorter and slightly more inane words. Don't even worry though, quality is retained, as are major details. As soon as I get a moment of free time, I plan on making two videos for certain groups of people. When will that be? Soon. Before the end of the month? Prossibly. Also: Being as this is the Snow Day, I couldn't possibly have participated in everything. Anyone remember any great stories from that most wonderful of days?

Day 27 (written day 30) [This is the best guess for Harding Sucks Balls at Life]

shitshitshit well today was the snow day. It was very fun. I went cross-country skiing with Shizue, Patick, Sam, Taylor, Megan K, Phoebe and Tina. There were a few good hills, and a few good falls. I will go again. We had a brunch that I couldn't finish: french toast, bacon, home fries, eggs... so good, so much. I was tired afterward and mostly sat around. I don't remember, it was three days ago. Leave me alone.

Dinner (and my first cook's crew) followed a successful round of poker with Danny, Lex, Isaac, Taylor, Sam and Charlotte. In one hand I got an ace-high straight on the flop, and in another I beat Taylor's pair with a pair of queens. I lost to Kyra (who was playing too) one time; she had two pair of queens and sixes, and I thought my eight kicker got me the win, but her kicker was actually a pair. Dinner was ziti and pastas that I couldn't really finish again. Cook's crew is all “let's wipe down counters, clean knives, scrape food into buckets, sweep floors, fill sinks, and whatnot.” It's pretty fun so far. Not that hard. Refilling the milk is a hassle because the boxes are so heavy.

I check this blog every morning and evening, sometimes even three times a day, in hope that a new post will emerge to keep me sane in a fall full of madness. It's occurred to me that many of you might also do the same.

2/11/10 - Excerpt from my first folded-page journal entry (previously unread/unheard by
anyone else).
"I thought I'd be able to change myself here, to end up a more self-confident person than I started. But judgments will be judgments, although maybe all this stuff is just in my head. It's probably all in my head, because people seem the same back at home."

3/1/10 - Excerpt from my second folded-page journal entry.
"Sometimes I feel like they're all laughing at me...I had let my guard down some, but now it's back up, and it's staying strong."

4/12/10 - Excerpt from another folded-page journal entry
"...I retreat to where I feel safe, giving an outward appearance of fatigue, silence, and even depression. It pisses me off sometimes that I get like this. I want to be comfortable being who I am, but I'm not."

I honestly don't remember what caused me to write any of this, but I was rereading parts of my journal tonight and realized exactly how much TMS ultimately made me happier and more self-confident than I was when I left home because I was in an environment where I could be proactive about making my voice heard (if I wanted to) and learning more of who I was. The only problem is that no one at my school seems to realize that I am not the same person I was before I met you guys. Yet their expectations that I be exactly the same have caused me to revert back to my old mindset without wanting to. For most of our semester (with the exceptions of a couple points where my mind went nuts and needed to vent as seen above), I was a much happier and optimistic person than I generally have been. Back at home, now, these journal entries could apply to me on any given day when I come home from school. This fall has taken such a toll on me mentally; even though I know that Spring '10 can never again be repeated in the same way (even if we attempt to do so), I just wish that I was able to completely remember the person I was last May, revisit that state of bliss, optimism, and sureness, and insert those qualities into my life again.

I realized today that I may have passed a classic Miles Moment by. It was a normal night, doing history reading and taking notes, when this gem was jotted down, taking all the paragraphs Chafe dedicated to writing about Harding's struggles and successes as President into seven words: "In politics, Harding sucked balls at life." I later gave this note sheet to Jake, who, during his in-class could think of nothing but that phrase.

Anyway, here's a sick Wednesday morning, and a sick Wednesday afternoon.

Day 26

It got me during the night. I had two or three sessions of vomiting, and at 1 am Jake said I should clean out my bucket. While doing so, I had some wit of the stair: “Who said I had a bucket?” [Which would imply that I was vomiting onto the floor, causing lolz to surely abound.] I felt better in the morning, though. Not perfect, but better. Less queasy than I did last night. Kit told me to stay home, so I have a semi-snow day. Oh, did I not mention the snow? It's at least 10” as of 10:36, and it's still snowing in small flakes, and it doesn't look like it'll stop. Finally! Here's hoping it stays below freezing for the next few months. Following Kit's advice, I rested in bed, listening to King Crimson. I then sat in the common room listening to Nirvana, and rearranged the lights so we only have to plug one end in. I might go for a walk now, just to get outside in the snow.

I had some rice for lunch, and the next few hours were essentially one big snowball fight after another. We fought behind the library, in front of the school builing, played football on Miles quad (as I guess it's called), and tackled each other on library hill. My pants were very cold, and I probably went too hard. I'm tired and drained now. Before dinner I took a hot shower in Miles, then ate pasta with a little bit of sauce. Sam, Rebecca and I walked back, but I forgot my backpack in the English room, so I went back. I drew a hack map of 2112 for English, and then wrote a one-paragraph summary of plate tectonics for E. Sci. I really should do more, but I just have no energy right now. I got Cook's Crew as my new chore, so I have to wake up early tomorrow. I'll be going to bed early tonight. So very tired.

HOLY DUDE YOU GUYS WE HAVE A SNOW DAY. David put up several more lights. WE HAVE A SNOW DAY.

at school yesterday a friend asked me if i could if i would go back to mountain school and redo it all again or with another group, or even with all of you for another few months.

after minute or two of contemplation, my answer was no. spring 10 was perfect, i changed, and by the end, i was ready to go. i like to think i took all that i could from vershire and that it is ok to be moving on because i really do feel you all with me all of the time.

my mom got a hip replacement last week. I felt really bad for her at first and I helped her out a lot, but now she is just being a bitch. I NOW how awful that sounds and I am really frustrated with myself for losing patience with her, but she is being so irrational and mean lately I can't stand it! I've been staying away from home and hanging out with more friends recently becuase I hate coming home to what she has to say about how I'm not working hard, how my app for college sucks, for how I SUCK. Ok, I may be blowing this out of proportion but she is driving me nuts! I just wish that I could be away from allll of her negative energy and be back at Mountain School. I really miss it. I don't know the next time I will see you all, but I wish that it was really soon. I love you.

SHEEP FLU! SHEEEP FLUU!! SHEEEEEEEP FLUUUUUUU!!!

Day 25

the campus is gripped in the hands of a terrible plague-not even my own dorm is safe, as it was the first bastion to fall-it started last night-rafi vomiting-jake awoke sam and I saying he was sick-i covered for his cook's crew, walking the steps of a man whose life force has been sapped by disease-i packed what I needed to survive the day and left-who knows when I might return-the morning mess hall was barley half filled-as survivors stumbled through the great wooden doors, they only brought more names-how many more can it claim?-i distanced myself from it first period free, on the internet-during English class the silence was only too present-my class, receiving essays containing comments that I am a writer from Jack, was not the same-the cries of the fallen echoed throughout campus-new snow fell, covering up the horror-during the break the live ones and I hoarded oranges-why did I type 'and I?'-I'm a live one-I'm a live one-Mark taught us the fine art of maple sugaring-he even included a taste test afterwards-maple syrup in milk is excellent-ill have them send that home if I can't bring it myself-Phoebe, Maddy, and I gave our delphinia presentation on tectonic plates in E. Sci.-another class gutted by this plague-during lunch there were more live ones-there are still maybe a third gone-the number can only rise-alden asked for me by name to join the small group of us that would lighten the spirits of all these desperate souls-i joined isaac, sam, charlotte, kyra, hallie, rebecca, and adrija-ate shepherd's pie, salad and a burrito as they were the scant rations provided us during this oppressive time in our history-college counselors couldn't make it, or didn't want to risk themselves, so we had a study hall instead of their meetings-i tried again to escape the horror that life had become, so full of pestilence and loss-used stumbleupon, digg-read the english reading, didn't do my math problems-i have a tenuous grasp on what we're doing now: combinations and permutations-i got an 84+2 extra credit on the math test-she didn't like my proof by induction, and a few other questionable losses-our sweatshirts came in today-mine had letters in a comically small font-I'll wait for a new one-i write this in Spanish class now, as Dan, valiant Dan, was taken earlier today-as the snow falls, the sky darkens, my view out this window darkens, I can only imagine the same happened to him as the plague conquered his flesh-that accursed stomach bug.

The sick people were at dinner, but they were at a separate table. Dinner was beef stew and a vegetable concoction, mixing broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, and more cauliflower. I touched two bowls while picking one up, so I took two. I had no objections, it was good. I'm just doing work until check-in, and then going to sleep early. David will have to explain how to identify which formula to use sometime, because these problems are not making sense. Hope I don't get sick. Maybe I'm just psyching myself out. It's actually snowing a lot now! We might have 6+” by tomorrow!

Here we are, day 24. Technically posted on a Thursday here on the East Coast, but o'er in Central, Mountain, and Pacific it's still yesterday. Enjoy it while it lasts, friends. Today marks the spectacular debut of Ben Huber in the journal, thoughts on a girl, as well as a hint of disaster in the future. Be warned, friends, about the dangers of disease...

Day 24

I cleaned out the pantry this morning. Breakfast consisted of brunch leftovers: pancakes (pwnage), homefries, toast and eggs. There were oranges today! Rejoice! I spaced out in history while we were giving a type of debate-thing, to get us to think about the research papers we have to do. Matt, Sam, Yomalis, Kemi and I formulated points for why the changes in the 1920s were positive. Our largest point was the copious amounts of sex being had. While the other side was giving their points, Nel said there was apparent growth, and I countered with 'there was a growth in parents.' I did the reading in the free following, and then took a math test. It was not too bad. Thought an arithemetic equation was geometric; that caused some lulz. Other that that it was nothing too hard; maybe one or two question where I might have lost a point or two due to small errors. I did do a question of bonus points, so that's a plus.

During the next free I stumbled and dugg while rocking out to Metropolis, Pt. 2: Scenes From A Memory. Lunch was fantastic: burritos. Salad with a caesar? Ranch? dressing, and two meat burritos. I'm going to say they were beef, but I couldn't tell. I had a good cookie for dessert. The burritos were quite hot. The salsa I had did not help that much. In Energy Work I took readings, forgot the shop and took that one again, then went with Taylor to Derby to check some I don't even know what, but Nick forgot the cable. Some people to liven up this entry: I had lunch with Pat, Danny, Hallie, and Ben, I think. Some bald guy who helps in outdoor program.

After the power cord fiasco, we rendezvoused in the English room to type up some numbers. While messing around on the internet discovering a cool fake-album-time-waster game, I did that. I plugged in numbers for tons of wood chips delivered. Before Nick arrived, some odd guy I'd never seen before came in and sat across from me at the large table. He asked how the semester was going. I replied, it's going fine. Before Energy Work I hastily did the pink book reading. In Spanish we discussed El Sur, and Patrick and Freddy were not getting the part with Las mil y una noches at all. I still had trouble speaking, a condition that does not exist when the speaking is under my breath.

In E. Sci. I noticed that, when Pat furrows his brow, there's a nice line in between the wrinkles on his forehead (that are pinkish-white) and his head (which retains a redder hue). He was talking about plates colliding and whatnot, what happens and how we can tell how old a rock is. He also spoke of the formation of island chains. Our assignment was to craft a history for an imaginary set of continents. During dinner I sat with Chelsea, Danny, Zoe R-A, someone else, and Susie's family. Cole is alright, but I do not think I would like to spend much time with Hazel. Megan K had us all sing Always Look on the Bright Side of Life for her humble, and my Eric Idle impression seemed much better beforehand. The sign said dinner would be a chinese chicken and noodle dish, and the noodles were good, but the chicken was regular old chicken. Nothing new.

After, Maddy, Phoebe and I did the E. Sci. and I got distracted by facebook and did not really contribute that much. Maddy called me out on it. I still thought a lot, though they can't tell that. Arya loaded problems onto me that I tried to solve; I said hi to Arianna and Brophy, and Hallie did not give Arya the help I thought she would... she instead wrote something about people with “multiple schlorosis”. I went back to the dorm and did the Spanish reading. Rafi is really sick. During check-in I mostly played guitar. I finished my journal entry and got a simple progression for Grace's song. It's odd calling it that. Taylor is going crazy making sure we're all healthy. I'm fairly sure this congestion and runny nose is the worse I'll get.

post secret

I look at postsecret every week. This is my favorite from this past sunday. It's cheesy, but it is so correct.

a quote I love

I found this quote underneath a picture of fall semester on facebook and fell in love with it. Wanted to share!

Love you all!!

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."

cool story

guess what? today I was leaving Milton, stopped at a red light right outside the school, and then when the light turned green i tried to press the gas and all of a sudden multiple lights started flashing like the "TCS" one and the "check engine" one, so i pulled over (wish Isaac was with me!)

After a long series of events I called Triple A who told me they would be there in "less than 90 minutes". Then they finally arrived, and I met a great guy named Champ who was Hawaiian and told me I would have to tow the car, and drove me all the way back to my house! He explained to me that he works the night shifts because he's a vampire. Also one time he went 180 mph on a motorcycle on the highway but the cop let him off with a warning.

I know this story doesn't appear to have anything to do with TMS, but while I was in the tow truck with Champ and we were having an initial prolonged silence, I thought about how the Mountain School taught me that everyone is interesting and everyone has something special to say. So I asked him "Is your name really Champ?" and off we went on a 30 minute conversation!

My advice: keep looking for small wonders.

I love you all!

My bio class today was nothing short of 100% nostalgia. First, I was one of four kids wearing the Green Sweater to school. Second, my bio teacher just got back from a visit to campus this weekend, where he stalked deer with Kurt and watched the snow. He visited while we were there--Mr. Bingham, tall, on the skinny side, short black hair, outdoorsy vibe. Anyway. We measured various aspects of a) white pine trees with b) DBH tape and c) tree corers which we remembered d) Pat had a lot of in his classroom. After class, talking with a friend, she wanted e) curling to be a sport at our school. The entire time I was doing nothing but ^_^ and :3

Stay alive during collegetime. It ends well.

Day 23

Today was a Sunday. I woke up a little late, 9:03, and did my laundry while reading Spanish and studying what little math I could... I just wrote down all the formulae. I'm about 95% sure that's all we'll really need to know on the test... the rest will just be identifying what we need to plug in. I forgot to hit the Start button on one dryer, so I had to pay another dollar to get my colors done.

By then it was time for brunch, so I left my dryer drying and headed to the dining hall to mack on some sick eggs, 'shrooms, onions and peppers, hot dogs and onions, crazy good pancakes, and some subpar (for the Mountain School... just saying, they have been better. Still quite delicious.) home fries. There were no oranges, so I went without citrus again. Dish crew was an ordeal... I mostly scraped plates. Nick, Hallie and Rafi said thank you, and Sam's grandparents stopped by to say hi. They are pretty nice.

Once we finished setting the tables, sponging and everything I searched for some people to go on a hike. It ended up being Jake, Sam, Jimmy, Charlotte and I who left to find our science sites. I don't know why Charlotte came-- she knew where her site was. [Edited for awkward] Well, Sam and I found sites and Jake said he found one. We all put pins in the map and wrote descriptions, however shoddy for the time being. Oh yes, and there was some drama involving me getting frustrated at Charlotte for being misleading where the confluence in Back Brook was and whatnot... I also took some killer photos (I hope they're killer... they're of cool ice formations.).

Once we got back, I think I did some work... maybe got my laundry... it was about 4. I know I did some History reading, and then Sarah came over at around 4:30, 4:45, and she, Sam, Jimmy and I had some bonding time, having equal bits of fun with each other. Dinner was BBQ RIBS, mashed potatoes, and carrots (of which I took too many). BBQ RIBS were very good. There was a mad scramble for some chocolate-glazed brownies that were good. Chocolate, you know.

After dinner I went back and over the next few hours I started my English essay (approved by Jack at brunch) and finished my Rise and Fall reading. I took frequent breaks. The topic that dominated check-in (other than cleaning up my room) was Mafia in various places. Apparently Rafi's barber did jail time. I finished my essay, deciding that we are not like the Moon-Azures, and rocked out to Iron Maiden and Jane's Addiction before bed.