indecisiveness

At home, before TMS, i always called myself indecisive.

I couldn't decide simple things like what color to paint my nails, or what to eat for dinner.

When friends would ask what I wanted to do, I would respond with I dont know do you have any ideas? I don't really care. I'm just too indecisive!

(Not to say that I couldn't plan amazing things at times =] )

BUT! while i was at TMS i don't remember myself once referring to my indecisiveness!

I JUST DID!

If I wanted to play knockout i knew it and i went and did it!

Or if I wanted to jump in the pond, I would!!

I want to keep that frame of mind. And next time I can't decide what I want, I'll try to stop and just go and do!

frontier words

just some gems from my summer reading:

obstreperous: (adj) unruly and noisy

farrago: (n) a confused mixture or hodgepodge

cupidity: (n) an eager or excessive desire

misanthrope: (n) a hater of humankind <-- yikes!

Hey guys, its isaac. so my birthday is august 26 and i was wondering if anybody would be interested in coming to vt around that time. the 26 is a thursday and i dont know when school starts for the rest of you but i thought id see if any of you guys could come before i tell my other friends about it.

i miss you all.

Day 2. Unless people don't want me to, I'll keep posting this regularly--please comment with any thoughts. I want to have this up so we can all remember it, but I don't want this blog to be flooded with my ramblings on food and classes.

Day 2

I woke up in the middle of the night saying my address (we were all doing it in a dream) and found my top blanket off. I was quite hot and put it back on. At a reasonable hour I woke up to my alarm, but then couldn't get out of bed. I finally got out and participated in a discussion about security at airports and the inauguration.

I decided not to go to broomball and instead help out at brunch, since I was on dish crew anyway. Making a fruit salad yields sticky hands and mangled grapefruit. The apples and oranges turned out ok. The actual meal consisted of me eating too much and talking with my Spanish teacher, who seems pretty cool. Alden sat again at our table. During the clean up, I first washed some trays, but then took the task of taking plates, bowls, cups, and silverwares back to their piles in the dining room after they'd been sanitized.

After that whole debacle was done with, I met with Susie to get my schedule. I have an easy early week, but after that it picks up in terms of frees. Jack Kruse gave a talk on safety- whenever we walk into a room, we have to wonder how we might die in that room. Chipper. Our next activity was a scavenger hunt of sorts- with our dish crew (Sam, Kiana, Gabby, and Phoebe), we had to answer a question (How many sheep are there? Who is their guardian? was ours.) in a creative way. Our group decided to do a skit where Sam was trying to fall asleep, counting sheep to aid him. I was Nigel the llama, telling him off, because they were my sheep.

Nextly, we had a hike to a spot where we spent 30-40 minutes in solitude. We got our packs, complete with a small sitting pad, and 15 of us hiked with Alden along the Inner Loop, with him choosing one person to sit in a place every so often. I was the second to last one: I mostly laid back, listened to the wind, looked at a few birds, heard a chainsaw (which Isaac would later tell me might've been a snowmobile. In his skit Shizue said his name was Ian. There was also some funny unintentional double entendre that went unnoticed until the performance: “We have no bulls. I guess they came and went.”), and observed how weird trees are. They have a start, but just sort of sprout out and don't really end. The one I was looking at (not an evergreen) was also too scraggly. Most trees in winter are. On the hike back my legs started getting cold, event though I was wearing long underwear (something I appreciated yesterday. It really does help cut down on how much the wind cuts through one's jeans.).

Dinner was very good again- mashed potatoes and gravy, chicken, carrots, apple crisp for dessert. Talked with a lot of people- Shizue, Hallie, Megan, Jake, Charlotte- we played Telephone and Word Association afterward with about 15 others. We then had a big discussion in the library afterward about an Ayn Rand article: How Can One Be Rational in an Irrational Society? It was about whether judgment is right or wrong. I think that people need judgment and opinions to be a person, and the other side was saying that snap judgments hurt interpersonal relationships. No moon tonight like there was yesterday- also have a headache. Tomorrow is the first school day; I'll have to set an alarm early. Classes should be fun.

injuries

scrape on shin - ??

blister on right hand middle finger - yard work

cut on thumb - heavy lifting

bump on head - stupidity in while entering car

sunburn

New Poem

Just for you guys. This poem was inspired by the prompt "what do you know how to do?" and of course first thing that came to mind (not even kidding) was how to identify trees in new england. enjoy. love you all

Treetops

Come with me, and we’ll waltz

The forest in winter together.

I’ll show you the difference

Between white pine and white ash

(The answer to which lies in their

Geometry, in their whorls and leaves).

We’ll sample the pure flavors,

The mint gum bud of the gray birch

(You chew it straight off the tree),

The sugar water sap of the maple

(You slurp it right from the steel bucket),

The undiluted taste of real snow cones

(And it’s okay if there’s some dirt in it).

Don’t worry if you accidentally eat

Hemlock leaves (it’s not the poisonous kind).

We’ll trek through the trees, and I will

Show you all my favorites.

We’ll hug the black cherry tree

(Which has delightfully crackly bark),

We’ll make faces to the yellow birch

(Which has wonderfully reflective skin),

We’ll shake the quaking aspen

(Which will sound like a rattle snake),

We’ll stroke the verdant fir leaves

(Which are soft and smooth to touch).

Soon, you will know them all so well

That you won’t even need your coat,

And we’ll climb and scale and nest in

The treetops of majestic sugar maples

(Which, with their opposite branching,

Constitute excellent climbing trees).

Make sure you bring a nice picnic, and

Perhaps a blanket and a book or three

(A piano would be stupendous, too,

If you can manage it; if not, a guitar?),

Because I plan on staying up here

For a good long time, maybe forever.

A maple is a perfectly good home.

I don’t want to have to shimmy down,

I don’t want to have to leave my tree,

I don’t want to have to coast out west,

Back to my too big not-green house,

Where my only tree friend in the world

Is the one in our yard, a Japanese Maple,

And it’s not even a Californian.

As some of you may know, there is a journal/log of Mountain School Spring '10 in existence. Here's the first day--comment if you want more posted. The only trepidations I have about putting the whole thing up are the poster's anonymity quickly fading, though that might have already happened for some, and certain more personal sections, though those can be edited out. One more thing--[brackets] indicate something I remembered as I was posting this that I forgot to add while writing it.

Without further ado, here is our semester.

Day 1 (written day 2)

We arrived at around noon, had spanakopita, a Greek spinach and feta dish that is very flaky, some turkey and noodle soup, of which I got mostly broth, and some bread for lunch. [Susie advised me on how to get actual ingredients: drain the broth by tipping the ladle against the side of the bowl. She ate with Phoebe and I and our parents.] We unpacked everything into my dorm, which looks very nice, then proceeded to wait around for the parents to have their meeting at 2. I feel like I met everyone... but only remember around 30. Apparently there's a 2:1 girl to boy ratio. Alright.

We then proceeded to learn about our various chores: I get to clean the office bathroom and sweep the floors. Shouldn't be too bad. Dinner was very good- amazing bread, decent salad, a delicious pasta dish with fettuccine-like sauce that involved tomatoes, mushrooms, and much more, and brownies for dessert. I've met with my advisor, Susie, and Alden so far. After dinner (the order of events might be a little mixed up, but at least the events are present.), Susie, Kate, Kiana, Zoe and I shoveled the snow off of the pond, which may or may not have a convenient rectangle shape, and may or may not be natural. After getting it all off (and getting hit in the gut by a sudden shelf in the ice a few times) we slid around on feet and jackets before heading (in this alternate timeline... we might've gone to dinner in the actual course of events.) to the library to hear the Rules. Alden gave a great presentation, and we all listed things we liked to do, and where we're from.

Oh! Also at dinner Charlotte (who looks like Cristina) asked about secret talents, to which I responded that I can count binary on my hands, giving a rather poor description [of binary] (I think.). Rafi (who everyone says looks like Michael Cera, but I think looks more like Andy Samberg) asked about how squash is played... end of tangent. I learned and promptly forgot about Nora's grandparents in the library, and heard the story of Hardy Hard-Head from Alden. The first half, at least: the second half will come on the last night. Among the activities described after the story, broomball looks the most appealing.

We all regressed to our dorms and had an epic jam sesh: A-D-G-A for like half an hour. We have a pretty full band: 3 guitars, 2 violins, a mandolin, and a harmonica. Rafi wants everyone to play Wagon Wheel together, which might be fun. Patrick asked about a lot of songs that I don't know how to play, but I did silence everyone with Goin to California. Kit and Comfort then held a dorm meeting, and handed out activity sheets with choices ranging from photography to volunteer fire department. We ended the evening with more jamming. I tried to read The Color of Magic, but there's not really a comfortable angle with lots of light.

MOUNTAIN SCHOLARS! Oh my GOD I miss you so much. It's a little unbelievable. You know how Harry says he misses Hogwarts so much it's like a constant stomachache? Guess what! Now I know how he feels. If missing people were measured in feet, I would miss/love (liss!) you all more than Jack Kruse's height PLUS mine. I mean the latter's not saying much but that's okay. Anywaaaaaaaaay as many of you know I am currently globetrotting through all these writing camps and one of the prompts we had was to create a sentence expressing a whole bunch of emotion, happysadangrysorryetc all rolled into one amazing feeling. Naturally I had a whole host of ideas at the forefront of my mind with you guys. This is the sentence I wrote.

Even though the forty-five faces mixed with nineteen flowers was the only image the ink-laden 8x10 paper showed, in it she saw so much more than simple eyes and petals: an illuminated pile of secrets in the only house still spilling light at 1 a.m.; the attempt to sing about hitch-hikers and wagon wheels, only to be thwarted by the inability to control sobs; the raucous classroom shoving aside Woodrow Wilson for a double rainbow; the wild hair obscuring her vision after four days found in the new wilderness; the night spent in their tangled arms, watching the moon rise to its zenith above a hill of gardens, before the end.

I REALLY EFFING MISS YOU. Please call! text! facebook! email! write! stalk! whatever! i will be so happy to just even see your name. pleasepleaseplease take care and be happy. I LOVE YOU ALL! lots of love and hugs

Home

I was listening to the radio this morning on my way to work and just as i pulled into the Mountain School driveway the song home came on. I miss being at home with all of you.

I just watched the tms promotional admissions video and i really think every one should do it. its not the ones on the website its the actual dvd. its so funny all of the teachers are wearing their usual attire and the school looks exactly the way we left it. its amazing

thinking of you as always

I just watched the tms promotional admissions video and i really think every one should do it. its not the ones on the website its the actual dvd. its so funny all of the teachers are wearing their usual attire and the school looks exactly the way we left it. its amazing

thinking of you as always

Pictures

Sorry it took so long you guys but I just posted 574 more pictures on facebook today if you havent noticed yet. i am pretty sure that that makes the rest my not complete crap pictures available. If i find anymore don't worry, they will be posted at some point.

distant

When we left Mountain School, we knew that we would try our hardest to stay in touch and preserve the love that we found in each other. I feared that the distance between us would weaken what we found at the mountain school. But my biggest fear was that because i am so far away from most of the semester, I would be forgotten. I know that this is a little self centered... but lately I can't help but feel like it is coming true. I know that we all try really hard to write letters and call or skype or whatever, but the actual act of being together is something I can't let go of. I haven't seen anyone from Mountain School since the beginning of June, since I left the campus really. It has been way too long and while I'm home missing everyone so much, the people who live close to each other are getting together - in New York, Boston, Vermont! I love you guys so much and I am so happy that you guys are happy, but I can't help but be selfish and resent the fact that I don't get to be apart of this hapiness. I didn't want to be forgotten, and although I may be breifly brought up in a conversation while others are getting together or thought of while sharing a story, I am still not there and that is so hard for me. I don't want to be forgotten just because I live far away from everyone, it hurts too much just to thinking about it.

sadness

Hi all,
The past 2 weeks have been really hard for me. We got a call one night from my aunt telling us that my 47 year old uncle had had a massive heart attack and died. I've been lucky thus far in my life that I've never really had to deal with the death of someone close to me. And now I've been forced to face not only a death, but one completely unexpected and shocking. I had to watch my dad call both his parents and tell them that his brother had died. And I had to watch as my family that already lost my father's sister of cancer when she was 16. My father was the oldest of 3 children. His sister died at 16 and his brother has now died at 47. He is now the only one left. This is scary to me to watch my dad who has always been such a strong person have to deal with something so tragic. The other part of this whole experience that has struck me the most is that I've had to watch my two cousins try and comprehend the death of their father, the person who has always been incredibly supportive in their lives. The oldest of the two girls is my age and it makes me start to cry all over again thinking about how she is having to go into her senior year with major decisions about college and her life without the person that should be there to assist her. I want so much to help her but I don't know what to say and all that I can think about is the fact that I still have my father and she doesn't. I just feel like when I try and help it's like I'm above her because my family is still in tact.
My dad had to do the eulogy, which was really hard on him, but he talked about how my Uncle Lou always lived his life to the fullest after their sister had died 3 days after his high school graduation. I thought about this and realized that I've been putting so much on hold since I've gotten home. I feel as though I really embraced life at Mountain School and made sure that I went to bed each night with no regrets. I was happier than I ever had been because I was leaving nothing undone and was truly experiencing each moment. Being home its been harder to find people to be spontaneous with or to do wonderfully crazy things with. I haven't lived as I did at Mountain School because I haven't been able to figure out how to bring my life there home. After the funeral I've been thinking about how I really wish I could live as I did at Mountain School; live a life full of love, wonder, joy, spontaneity. This is a morbid thought, but if I had died right after Mountain School I would have been completely happy and content that I had lived my life to the fullest. It scares me that I can't say that now.
I miss you all! Thank you for being there and giving me comfort during this time of sadness because even though this is hard, I've been reassured knowing that you're all only a phone call away. <3

so I am at this program and dare I say its not really a mountain school esque crew. I am back yet again with another group of teenagers who are constantly bashing and putting down each other trying to get boys, get girls and brag about what they have. thats actually one of the worst parts- i hate when people just try to sell themselves and show themselves off. its just hard to tolerate it all when i know that i know better. i learned today that a girl spoke about me behind my back in saying that I was weird and not like anyone she knows.. whatever though, i don't want to be like everyone else. as much as people used to say oh you remind me of someone (i guess they were saying this in the beginning and not the middle or end of the semester) none of you remind me of people anymore. and i know i am weird because i have taken little bits of each of you and added it to my personality- I insert anikas sayings in my every day language, i think i have picked up some of rafis hand gestures, taylor's philosophical ideas, milton lingo ("sick lighting PA.." ok i dont really say that exactly but its there with me since I have heard that story multiple times), ians humor, inspiration from kianas slam, i drag my tote bag every where, i put on my fleece and mountain school sweatshirt whenever possible, nostalgia is a most played track on my ipod... the list goes on and on but what i am saying is that i am so happy that i am taking you with me. of course i am weird but i am so so lucky and when these annoying kids are gossiping and when i am trying to even impress them myself i really am trying to take a step back and realize how lucky i am for having you. because that is far more important

each one of you made the mountain school what it was for me. all i can say is thank you, i might be a little less weird but i wouldn't be me without you

I just realized that, because these posts are anonymous, I haven't been able to hear just one person's voice in my head as I read their words. So every sentence is like a medley of voices--it's like everyone in our semester gets a few words in.

I am so happy that I can still hear every single person's voice. It's just one more way that we will never escape each other.

I have given out this recipe to a few people and I feel like you should all have it. For those that already have it please double check it because I think I forgot to tell you about the butter when I gave you the recipe. Please enjoy.

Brownie Pie

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup flour

2 eggs

1 stick of butter

3-4 tablespoons of cocoa powder

1/2 cup of butter softened

1. Beat for 4 min.
2. Cook for 30 min on 325º
3. Enjoy. Thats an order.

Sure, I'll do a humble. I was going to post this anyway, but a humble is a solid guise.

This past weekend a few of us got together for old fashioned wolf pack times, looking for good times and maple syrup. It was my plan to leave Sunday morning, so I could spend the 4th evening with my family. That was my plan. It did not go so well. As I was leaving, driving down the long hill to the person's house we were staying at, I noticed that my car was shaking much more than it had been going up. I brushed it off as nothing more than the dirt road being crazy, and expected it to go away once I reached the pavement. That did not happen; quite the contrary: the shaking continued, and what's more, I heard a wop-flop-wop-flop sound coming below the car. Knowing this meant trouble, I quickly turned via 3 points, despite there being two yellow lines. After pulling in to a small parking lot, I saw the tire, or rather, what remained of it. The front wasn't in too much pain, but the back... oh, the back.

It was completely blown out, totally shredded, all the way destroyed, ruined beyond a shadow of a shadow of a doubt, mangled in the most vicious sense, torn apart like wrapping paper on the 25th, eaten up like a lean gazelle, wrecked, killed, decimated, devastated, gone, done, dead, ended, useless, dangerous, non-functional, impractical, a corpse, a frayed black scarf instead of a tire.

Having no service down at the base of the hill, I made it my purpose in life to head back to my host's house to use his phone to call AAA. And so I walked uphill for two miles, with the hot July sun keeping its eye on me.

"This is an adventure!" I exclaimed. "This is LIFE!!"

When I finally reached the top, sweaty, panting, and as red as the siren on Jack's truck, I recounted the events of the last forty-five minutes and calmly asked for a glass of water. We headed down, three men and a number of women. The men worked on getting the spare free from its ancient prison, while the women, I have been told, danced in the bed of a pickup truck.

So ends the tale of my first flat tire. It was eventually replaced, and I was able to get home on the highway at normal speeds. 70, 75. Sometimes 80.

Sorry for the brevity of this post. I think we should figure out a way that we can have a weekly humble from someone. The humble would require the person of the week to leave a video so that we can see their beautiful face and then give their humble (we all know what that is). Let me know what your thoughts are on this idea. I just think that its a good way to bring elements of The Mountain School to our home lives and require that everyone leave us a video at least once. I just thought about what doing it weekly would mean and that would mean it would take more than a year to have everyone do it. Maybe it should be random then. If you feel like posting a humble and no one has done it on that particular day. Go ahead. No required sign up. I love you and I miss you all. Home has been good. I think the key is to keep yourself busy and invent ways to have fun in the same way we did at Mountain School. If going to parties makes you miss being at Mountain School then maybe those parties arent the best idea. Try things like re exploring where you live. Challenge yourself everyday. If that means starting to run when you are not a runner what can it hurt? Dont let the fear of not losing TMS creep into your thoughts. You will never lose it. It wont let you. All 45 of us are like the fish in the Rainbow Fish that come together to make a shark. If one fish falls out of line the others will swiftly force that fish to join the shark once again. No amount of distance between us can destroy the bond we have. It will take effort but we can be the scariest shark out there if we work as a team and dont forget you will always be one of 45.

happy 4th!

Hey Everyone,
I feel horrible. I have been completely out of contact with everyone it feels like. Tonight was the first time I looked at this blog. I cried. How could I let it get this bad? Why do I cut myself off from the place I loved so much? I also noticed no one had posted in July. Well, happy 4th of July everyone its only 13 minutes old. I just got home from driving all my drunk friends home from a huge fireworks party. They told me I was a hero and that they owed me one. But that is not what friends are for. Being at the Mountain School made me realize the potential for true friendship. Its more than a car ride, its knowing you can talk no matter what and you actually mean something to that person. Thanks for teaching me that.

I miss you more than ever.