Changes

I've started thinking about Mountain School everyday. I used to think of it frequently when something reminded me one of you or brought me back to a memory. Now I think of it in intense nostalgia, contemplating my life compared to what I used to imagine it would be when I was at TMS. I had such high hopes for college and freshmen year definitely lived up, if not exceeded what I anticipated. Sophomore year has been the complete opposite. I've felt nothing but anxiety, disappointment, and just plain depression.
I've decided to take some time off from school. I've only told 2 people this. I am terrified of telling my parents and best friends. For awhile I've been feeling like I don't have a direction, but since making this choice I've reached an inner peace that I haven't felt in a long time. I have a lot of fear about leaving college, but it also feels right. I know that I can't stay at school and continue being so emotionless and disconnected, but it also isn't easy.
My sister wisely told me that I need to follow my inner compass instead of the compass that society tells us we should follow. More than ever I've come to admire those of you who took gap years or bravely followed paths straight from your inner compass. Mine is now pointing me on a path that is a complete mystery, but like going to Mountain School and other choices I've made along the way, I know that my inner voice knows me best.
Thank you for being silent, but reliable companions on this crazy path of life.