So I've been trying to have fun. In fact I have been having fun with some friends lately and I've found myself laughing like I used to at the Mountain School. I thought I was doing well and I was frustrated that I've had trouble keeping in touch with everyone but for the most part, I thought I was starting to recover. Then tonight, I looked on facebook and saw the album June 2010 of all the Boston, NY kids together. Immediately, tears streamed down my face. I could not have felt more alone or sad in that moment. Just writing about it makes me choke up again. I love you guys so much and i want you all to have fun but the fact that you all live so close and that you get to see each other over the summer kills me because I don't. I couldn't help but think that the last time that i had seen everyone or been with Mountain School people was graduation. I love you all so much and seeing that album was like opening a wound. I thought I was getting over this sadness, but little things like this keep bringing me back. The fact that nearly 20 of you got together was like a reunion i was never invited to. Obviously you wouldn't invite someone who lives so far away but it was so painful looking at those photos. I miss you guys with all my heart and I can't stand the fact that I can't see your faces everyday. I love you all so much and I really want to hear your voices.

love