I've been completely okay since I've left. Everything back to normal, no struggles. And that's generally the kind of person I am. I'm okay and content wherever I am and that's how it was at Mountain School and when I came back home.

But today I tried to call some girls from my dorm and actually felt bad when one couldn't talk and the rest didn't pick up the phone. I know it wasn't on purpose, but I realized that I can't always have you guys whenever I want. When people asked me how I'm doing back, I'd answer "I'm good. That was an experience. I was sad when it was ending, but now I've accepted that that form of the experience is over." I'm not so sure I feel that way now. Thinking about it and remembering isn't enough for me yet. Today, I spent so much time not wanting to be by myself. Today I wanted to share something with others and couldn't.

I'm not as okay as I thought I was.

I love this blog so much.