i wish i had played knockout more. i wish i had gone swimming in derby pond more, i wish i had danced in crazy dish crew parties, i wish i had been in more pictures, i wish tobold had gone on that camping trip (summer 2011??), i wish i had forced rowan to give me just one hug. (for the record, these are little wishes--not really regrets. i think.) i want to go back in time and shake myself and say THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE ONLY MOUNTAIN SCHOOL YOU WILL EVER HAVE. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THAT MEANS? DO YOU REALIZE HOW INCREDIBLY PRECIOUS THE EMBERS OF TIME HERE ARE? YOU ARE NEVER COMING BACK. ONCE MAY COMES, YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO CUT DOWN ANOTHER TREE AND YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO SLEEP IN THIS BED AND YOU ARE NEVER, EVER GOING TO GO ON SOLO AGAIN. LOVE IT. BREATHE IT. GET DRUNK ON IT, WHATEVER IT HAPPENS TO BE AT THE MOMENT.
the weirdest thing is i know i felt that way. i absolutely did. but now with school starting again i cannot believe it's over for good. i see myself in those pictures and i am the happiest i've ever looked, because i was the happiest i've ever been. i want that back. i want it back so badly.
in short...blurgh.
Well you know what I have to say to that. Watch out it is really really unpredictable. Just let it come back. Let yourself be. Let it be (the Beatles). Talk to people, meet new people, make new friends, call old friends, write in your journal, remember tms. Most importantly BREATHE its essential for life, and oxygen makes you happy. As my school produces Godspell and my good friend Tommy is crucified on stage GOD I'm Dying. I'm able to let the pain go through that outlet.
ReplyDeleteok sorry maybe that was a bad example. If you need anything, call email, facebook, hug, smile and BREATH, SMILE.