Today I had a distressing conversation with a friend who spent last year at a boarding school in Italy. There, she fell in love with a boy from argentina, a boy who still goes to the school in italy. My poor friend, she and this boy were so in love. Not "love ya!" love, but to the best of my never having been in love abilities, i believe it to be comprehension on so many levels love, constantly wanting to connect physically love, intense, penetrating fever inducing love. They ended their relationship because they live so far away from each other, but my understanding is that you can never really end a relationship like that. It's impossible. I talked with her about her philosophies on love after having experienced it, and she told me somewhat soberly that she believes that one can love many people in their life time, but there are only a few (not to be cliched) soul mates out there, and if you are lucky, and they cross your path, well, bingo. This girl is incredibly intelligent, she is rational, she's not the type of person to go say she's been in love just for the sake of saying it. Anyways, each time she talks with her former boyfriend, they both erupt into tears, not over lost love, but because distance separates them, and leaves them each feeling the intensity alone.
Anyways, this is a summary of what she said, to the best of my comprehension. See, I've never been in love. Maybe you have, maybe you can explain it to me, but I don't even think that I have the capacity to even scrape the surface of the feeling she is talking about. I'm scared, what if it doesn't exist for me. What if I can't love, or never find it.
I'm scared, but catching up on the blog made me less so.
I love you all
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
i believe that everyone has the capabilities and possibilities of finding a love like that out there one day
ReplyDeletejust because it hasn't happened yet doesnt mean it isn't going to happen in the future
we are so incredibly young - even if we don't realize it yet
at 17/18 many of us don't really know what love even is yet - real true love that is
many of us may even think we know what it is but in reality we really dont...
one day i'm positive you will meet someone and find that connection and finally understand
it might not be now.. it might not even be for years. but itll happen
and then your whole world will change
i still haven't found that love yet
but i can't wait until i do
and i can't wait until you do too!!
i love you too!!
i've been thinking about this so much recently too. i know what you mean. watching people be as in love as your describing always makes me wonder if i would ever be able to love one person that intensely
ReplyDeletebut i do know that i love all of you more than i've ever loved anyone. and if i can find that with someone else i'll be incredibly happy.
we're all gonna figure it out. don't worry.