Last night I went to this dumb party with my dumb friends after this dumb football game and my best friend who has been the most sane of all my friends for years started drinking at 6pm and wouldn't stop. The cops came to the party and everyone had to run away and she literally couldn't stand. I had to carry her because she couldn't walk on her own while she told me repeatedly that I she couldn't trust me and I wasn't her best friend. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen. She never used to drink. Her mom was an alcoholic so she used to come to parties and just chill. But when I was at Mountain School her other best friend got a girl friend and wasn't really there for her either and she started drinking every weekend. I wasn't there, I couldn't tell her that her attitude was unhealthy. And last night I wasn't there either. I got so caught up I didn't notice her drinking an entire handle by herself. I feel so guilty. I don't know what to do. I'm mad that she is acting like this but I don't know if I'm allowed to confront her because I feel like none of this would've happened if I had just been home. Before I left I would drink twice a weekend, every weekend. I still drink, but not as much as before. I can't tell if I would've felt different about last night if I hadn't gone to the Mountain School. It probably wouldn't have felt like as big of a deal since basically all of my friends have gotten alcohol poisoning at one point or another. As grateful that I am that I was able to step away from the culture at my school to look at it from a different perspective, I felt like a horrible friend yesterday. Last night I just needed all of you so much. I didn't call anyone because I was embarassed. I miss you all. You are so responsible and fun without trying and I just want this all to be easy again. I love you all